Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
