Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
