his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The beer is more important than you right now.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
The Olympian is in my bed
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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