I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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