i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Randomize
