if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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