I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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