Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
