Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
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No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
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well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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