oh god the rape fog is back!
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
