then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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