They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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