he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
