I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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