My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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