Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
