Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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