He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
