I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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