So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
