Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just forgot I was standing up.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize