did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Your dad touched me again.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
