If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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