ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
