apparently the secret to your success is patron
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
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