maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
