No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
