i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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