Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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