His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
