But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Can't talk, ducks in the car
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
