Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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