I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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