Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
