I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
