My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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