If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
did you just send me my own nude
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
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