its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Welp...herpes.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
