Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
