Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
