You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
