Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
