You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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