I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
