So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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