Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
