You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
