my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
