Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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