he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
