It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
