you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
