It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
