I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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