office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
