well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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