I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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