do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The best revenge is premature balding
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
