bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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