Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
