I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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