Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
