If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
