Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
