Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
