Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize